Children and Past Lives

March 9th, 2008

child-past-lives.jpgFreud said that babies are born with minds of a blank slate, or tabula rasa. This is the predominant belief in our society, along with the belief that a person only lives a single life. In contrast, most Pagans believe that we live many lives and that the experiences in our past lives affect our current life.

A lot of questions still exist on how past lives affect us, especially as children. What determines how a child will act or feel as they grow up? How will they develop into adults?

I think there are three main components involved in a person’s personality and world view. They (normally) have a long history of multiple past lives. They have a current-life personality that is greatly affected by factors unique to this lifetime, such as their astrological natal chart, socio-economic station in childhood and the personalities and skills of their parents. And there are physical factors such as diseases, disabilities and injuries, which are also particular to this lifetime.

Society-at-large generally only looks at the last two, their current-life and physical factors in the “Nature vs. Nurture” debate. The problem with this is that it does not explain many of the differences between children, nor does it explain many behaviors and reactions a child has to particular stimuli.

The Diva, the Warrior and the Peacemaker

We have three children, the Diva, the Warrior and the Peacemaker. The Diva just had her fifth birthday, the Warrior is three and a half and the Peacemaker is eighteen months old. They were all born to the same parents (me and my wife, Bella) and none have any medical problems or disabilities, though the Warrior did get a second-degree burn when he was seventeen months old. They all are very different, as is common in families with multiple children.

The Diva has always been a difficult child for us. When she was born, she did not know how to nurse. She wasn’t hungry for a couple days, which is normal, but when she became hungry she could not latch on. She also had a very short temper with herself. When she tried to latch on and suck, she would fail and then cry about it for twenty minutes before making another attempt. It took her two days to learn how to do it, and she never was a master at the skill. This tendency to give up easily and believe that she is incapable of doing things still plagues her.

In contrast, the Warrior and the Peacemaker were both able to latch on within a minute of birth and were very quickly proficient at nursing. They were masters in short order at the skill.

The Diva is very passive-aggressive and cold to others, including us. She is shy with others She has warmed up to the two of us more in the past year, but she is not nearly as affectionate as her younger brothers.

We’ve learned that her past lives are a large factor in this. She is relatively new at being human, with only a couple of previous human lifetimes. She has a lot of issues with her physical body, such as potty-training, and with relating to other humans. We think her relative youth in being a human soul is a significant factor. She is extremely good at accessing the Astral Plane and can play alone for many hours at a stretch.

The Warrior is very affectionate, but also quite violent. When he becomes frustrated, he tends to hit whomever is closest, even if they have nothing to do with his frustration. He has an older soul than the Diva, especially incarnating as human. He is able to relate to other people a bit better. He is potty-training better. He is also able to better understand this physical plane better with the way he talks about things, though he has difficulty in talking about his emotions (though that could be related to his age). He remembers his birth well enough to volunteer one day how he was born. He said that he didn’t want to come, but “the sign” told him which way to go and that he was pushed out. He was born 2 1/2 weeks late.

The Peacemaker has incarnated as human the longest. He is very much at peace with the world, as much as any eighteen-month-old can be at peace with the world. He can’t speak much yet, but through his actions and how he reacts to others, we see that he has a deep understanding of spirituality and what it means to be human. He expresses a love of harmony around him, carefully returning things to their “proper” place, as he thinks it should be. He also doesn’t like fighting and is quick to give a kiss or a hug to make things better.

Using Past Lives

The largest challenge we’ve had in understanding what parts of each child’s personality is an expression of past-lives or current-life influences is that at their age, they are not able to communicate as well as we would like. It is difficult to discern what thoughts, emotions and behaviors are the result of their physical age and what are the results of past lives, or other current-life influences.

As they grow older, I expect we will be able to understand this better and help them in their journey. When they are old enough to be proficient at guided meditations, we will help them perform a Past-Life Regression to shed light on their past.

With this knowledge, we expect to be able to help them understand their soul-journey. They will better understand what issues their soul has chronically stumbled over during their lifetimes and help them overcome those problems in this one. Since the Diva is so young, soul-wise, we hope to help her learn to better adapt to living as a human so she won’t have as much difficulty as many others experience.

If you have children, what have been your experiences or observances with their past lives? If you don’t have children, how have your past lives affected your childhood, or can you separate those influences from current-life influences? Feel free to leave a comment.

10 Responses to “Children and Past Lives”

  1. Diana Luciano Grayfox Says:

    Fascinating post! I have one child, Sophia, age 2 (as of today!). She is an old soul, one that has been in our family before. I feel like one of those stereotypical parents, but she really does seem like something special. She speaks very well for her age and does things with her body that you’d not expect a two year old to do. She crosses her ankles and always sits herself prim and proper (which I never taught her). One of her teachers commented that she has incredible dexterity. They were putting large beads on a pipe cleaner, and all the other children needed help and had shaky hands. She did it quickly by herself, undid it, and did it again, and she’s the youngest in her class! I see in her a creative artist with a love of animals and a deep desire to give and receive love. She knows her mind and does claim many things as “mine,” but she’s also very willing to share those things that she has claimed as hers. She loves stones and shells, and my pendulum is a favorite toy. I’m still learning about her, and as her language skills develop more, I am certain more will be revealed by her.

  2. Patrick Says:

    My youngest child I feel is too mature for her age. Many people I have know have called her an old soul, myself included.
    She often says and knows things that I can’t figure out the source.
    We had a good friend of our family die and we told her that she had went onto Summerland. But occasionally she comes out and swears (she is only four, by the way) up and down and sometimes sideways that she sees her.
    I just hope that she can hold onto this as she gets older and doesn’t grow out of these memories.
    Blessed Be!

  3. phoenix Says:

    don’t have any kids yet, but what i notice about myself is that my memory goes back to when i was a child, very often, sometimes for no reason a memory of when i was about 5 years old would pop up in my head, and it’s almost like reliving that moment for a little while. I think if i can go for past-life regression i might be able to remember even more..
    as for my childhood, i think my previous lives affected my childhood in away, always felt like i didn’t belong, or fitted in, always felt like an outsider, and i was happiest when i was on my own, playing outside..

  4. Morninghawk Says:

    It’s interesting how your daughter is so good at manual dexterity tasks. Maybe she worked with that type of skill a lot in her past lives, so her soul remembers how to do it. Thanks for sharing.

    That is beautiful that she can see her family friend. Our kids haven’t mentioned seeing their great-grandparents at all (two have died since the kids were born), so you’re lucky. I’m sure that with your understanding and reinforcement, she won’t forget. I think a lot of that forgetting is caused by our society telling the kids that it’s not real. I think parents can be very effective in combating that.

    I can relate to your comfort with being alone and with being an outsider. While growing up, I always felt more comfortable alone. I got more social when I grew up. A past life regression can help a lot with remembering more, and with learning why you feel best alone. There is also a type of regression that’s done that can reveal early childhood memories (back to birth and earlier). You might find that helpful as well, if you wish to remember more of your early childhood.

  5. phoenix Says:

    nope, i dont think i want to remember more of my childhood, i was thinking that i might be going crazy cause these memories just pop up unexpectedly, and it happens more than once a day, almost everyday. the only thing it makes me feel is sad, not that i had a sad childhood, was quite happy, but sad cause i miss my childhood so much..
    but i still want to go for past life regression, that should be interesting.

  6. Annette Says:

    Whoa. So trouble with potty training could go back to a past life issue? Where could I find out more about this? I’ve got to figure out how to help my daughter… She’s an only child; capable of playing by herself for a long time. Very intelligent. She has juvenile rheumatoid arthritis but is asymptomatic due to success with medication. She will be 4 in May — Gemini (cusp)… Any advice would be most appreciated!

  7. Morninghawk Says:

    We suspected a past-life connection in our daughter with her potty training problems because she has had a number of other issues since the day she was born. In general, we think it relates to her having problems with living in the physical realm, since she seems rather disconnected from her body in general.

    Unfortunately, there isn’t any specific system we could find that would do it for her (and we tried many). We learned that we could encourage her and help her where we could, but we could not force her to take that step. She needed to decide to walk forward on her own, according to her will.

    If there was any one thing that made her want to step forward was a session with a friend of mine who is a spiritual hypnotherapist. He specializes in past-life and between-life issues. When we saw him, he made sure we knew that he could not make any promises, because with such things the child needs to want to improve.

    Other than that, all I can suggest is to be patient with her, pray for her, and remember that “you can take a horse to water, but you can’t make her drink.”

    I’ve read that 25% of children are not potty trained on their fourth birthday, so your daughter is not alone.

    Good luck, and may the Gods help you and your daughter through this difficult time.

  8. Aida Says:

    Found this site while surfing the net. I have written a story that deals with reincarnation, but I’m not talking about this here. Let me tell you about my niece, Gabbie.
    When she was five years old she came to stay with me overnight. We were in the living room when all of a sudden she had what can only be called a spontaneous regression. We were watching a children’s show when she turned to me and, her eyes faraway, she started dancing very gracefully as if she was holding a fan in her hand. When I saw that I asked what she was doing and she told me, “The fan dance, silly.” And then she proceeded to tell me that her mother had made her dance and she didn’t like it. To make a long story short, this little girl spoke to me about the lights in the theatre. They looked like they were on fire, she said, and they lined the stage. This is something she couldn’t have known. She also stated she had an abusive boyfriend who hit her, and she started crying. I said to her, “When was this? You’re only 5 years old,” she answered back, “I was 21, 100 years ago, don’t you remember? You were there.” And she broke crying hysterically. I had to calm her down and when she came out of this state she went back to watching tv as if nothing had happened.
    The child today is 15, remembers nothing of this episode, and, when she was 6, refused to take dancing lessons. She told her mom she hated dancing, and when the mother inquired she said she just did.
    This has not been my only experience with this belief, which was passed on to me through my grandparents and mom even though I’m a practicing Christian. I’ve had experiences pertaining to myself and other people in my life, including my children.

    Great topic, and I’m glad to have found this site.


  9. Morninghawk Says:

    Thanks for the great story. That is quite a bit more detailed than the past life stories my kids have told.

    There is a part of Christianity that does believe in reincarnation. If you want to explore this further, you may want to look at the works of Origen of Alexandria. He was one of the main early Christian theologians and he believed in reincarnation.

    If you want to explore the connection between Christianity and reincarnation, I’d recommend looking on Amazon, as there are a number of good books on the subject.

  10. Aida Says:

    I’d forgotten this post, but I’m glad I’ve found it again. In terms of books on reincarnation … I’m an avid reader, so I’ve read many of the books on Amazon.

    Regarding other experiences … One of my cousins, a young man of 17, died about 35 years ago. Seven years later, more or less, he informed me in a dream that his mother (my aunt) was pregnant. She’d get an abortion because the doctor would tell her the child was going to be a boy, and would inherit this disease.

    He also told me old me his mission wasn’t complete, so he would, indeed, return as his sister’s son. My aunt did get an abortion. His sister got pregnant, had a boy with the same disease, one inherited only through the woman. This young man, whom I never did meet as he lived in another state, lived 22 years.

    My cousin, whose reincarnation he was said to be, was a very religious young man, very self-sacrificing. The “reincarnated entity” was the opposite, perhaps because he wanted to savor all he’d missed in his previous young life.


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